if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
