I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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