I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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