just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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