3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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