Tell her she can't have a vagina
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
