She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I believe in your delicious
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
