i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
