The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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