its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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