if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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