I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
