the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize