I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
