What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
