Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
