You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You may now shotgun with the bride
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
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