the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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