I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
