Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Randomize
