Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
