I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
