Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
