Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
