Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
