Having a random hookup so left but love u
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
