My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
