Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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