You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
