You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
