Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Gay?
German.
Pity.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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