All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
