Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
