omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I want a musical about memes.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
