I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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