You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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