if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
