You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
