No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
