were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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