She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize