it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
After tacos, we're chasing women.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
