he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
two words...techno handjob
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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