Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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