so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
