My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
