My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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