she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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