How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
