distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
