so that wasnt chicken after all
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
