Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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