Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
