OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize