you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
