my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I want a musical about memes.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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