Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize