yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
