Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize